Dear Concerned Citizens,
We have all held our tongues long enough.
On 8/5, the world changed. None among us will forget that day of unspeakable terror -- especially not while the Destroyer still stalks what used to be our peaceful Playt field. Assaults on members of our community continue unabated, and unanswered. We know now that we are all at risk, and the price of our survival is eternal and exhausting vigilance.
While the Playt Tournament occupied our attention, and we were all merry, it was easy to ignore the threats we face. Now, in a time of crisis, we are confronted by a harsh reality: our leadership is not equal to the challenge. We expected a comprehensive plan from The Oyster; we got incoherence. We expected an address; we got silence. We expected compassion; we found only disengagement. Safely ensconced in its gated community, The Oyster remained deaf to our desperate cries for help.
My friends, this must not stand. When peril kicks at the door, radical measures to defend our home become necessary. If the current administration is incapable of safeguarding our welfare, we must use all legal means within our power to replace it with one that will.
The Luminescent Cow -- my colleague and loving spouse -- will be circulating a petition for the recall of The Oyster from its position as Playt commissioner. We are in uncharted territory here: we have never had a recall drive in our community before, and I am somewhat doubtful that The Oyster, unresponsive (and frequently inebriated), as it is, will even bother to recognize our efforts. But it is my hope that, confronted with the will of those it purports to govern, the current commissioner will make way for one better equipped to handle the challenges of a post 8/5 world.
Yours in friendship and hope,
The Spring Chicken
FIRST
ReplyDeletere-call! re-call!
ReplyDeletei used to support the oyster but then 8/5 happened. on that day everything changed. what are we doing to bring the destroyer to justice. the oyster in my opinion is incompitenet and i read in *ball news* that its drinking problem is getting worse. i hope the destroyer attacks the oyster then it will know how we all feel
ReplyDeleteOyster Ouster!
ReplyDeleteExtra!! Extra!! Will the Oyster step down? Is there any way to stop the Destroyer from smashing the Porto Ricope board? Who is waiting in the wings to take power? Also: Jonathan Sanchez needs to step up today! Only on THE CHINA REPORT.
ReplyDeletei helped out with that story.
ReplyDeletei hope that people will like me now.
ever since 8/5 i have terrible nightmares and i feel like i am nervous and i am going to throw up. i cannot relax. help me spring chicken before i go crazey.
ReplyDeleteUsually I support the Oyster but I have to say that things can't go on like this. We hardly even have games any more because the Big Turtle is worried about the Destroyer. Also when was the last Oyster Rankings? Maybe it is time for a change.
ReplyDeletespring ckikken you fag you went 0-4 in the tournament ha hahah ah loser.
ReplyDeletesometimes when there is an election that people don't like the results of, there is later a recall election. the purpose of the recall election is to recall the person who was elected but people feel cheap about it now. by recall i do not mean remember, which is another meaning of the word recall. also i do not mean another meaning of the word recall which is to call somebody up on the telephone after you have already called them on the phone and maybe they weren't home. or they might have been screening your calls because the message you left on their answering machine was too long. that has happened to me.
ReplyDeletePsst! Oyster tucked away in comfort in the Gated Community while Playt Estates trembles in fear of the Destroyer!
ReplyDeletei think we need to get ATEM BOMB.
ReplyDeletefor defense.
you SHEEPLE amaze me. everybody knows that the "attacks" on 8/5 were all part of a bigger plot by the big wigs pulling the strings. look at who the destroyer is and you will find that the destroyer is OWNED by wacko birdo. there is even a piece of paper that says so. it is all hush hush but it is true. that big shadowy turtle OWNS part of the destroyer too. when will you WAKE UP and realize that you are being manipulated??! 8/5 is just the tip of the iceberg?!? you could have voted for NADER but you chose to uphold the corrupt system and now we are ALL rejects.
ReplyDeleteNone of this would be happening if Billy Mays was still alive.
ReplyDeleteSpring Chicken I am sick of your shit. Complain complain complain. I don't see you fighting the Destroyer. Ass Hole.
ReplyDeleteI studied the Constetution and figured out the line of succession. Should the commissioner get a recall the person who takes over is **Henry**. Just thought yo all should know.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteTHE JEWISH-CONTROLLED CHICKEN DOES NOT GO NEARLY FAR ENOUGH. WE WILL NEVER BE SAFE HERE AS LONG AS THE DESTROYER IS ALIVE. EITHER WE BRING THE DESTROYER TO JUSTICE OR WE MUST LEAVE THIS PLACE OF TEARS AND SUFFERING. PLAYT IS NOT BIG ENOUGH TO ACCOMMODDATE ALL OF US. THE DESTROYER MUST DIE OR WE MUST FIND A NEW HOMELAND.
ReplyDeletei'll buy you your ticket, dickhead.
ReplyDeleteI don't usually post to the Internet, even though the Internet brings the World together, ha ha. I wanted to share with you my personal experience with the Destroyer. Yesterday, before the game, the Destroyer came flying out of nowhere and attacked me in front of everybody. A beast that can have such an impact on the World is formidable indeed. Worldly though I am, I have never seen the like. The World will never be the same.
ReplyDeleteYou know, Cloten was a good commissioner. Maybe Cloten could take over again?
ReplyDeleteOr maybe the Cold Woman, even though I am scared of her? She is honest.
sure i would like to see a fight between cloten and the destroyer -- that would be great!
ReplyDeleteoyster ouster! that's funny!
ReplyDeleteAND NECESSARY!
I wasn't ever Commissioner, I was Acting Commissioner. The Oyster was always the real Commissioner. I don't want to be Commissioner, I want to win the Playt Cup. Also I agree that the Cold Woman would make a better Commissioner than me.
ReplyDeleteYou know what is a good song? That song about logistics.
ReplyDeleteGuys, I think Obie might be dead.
ReplyDeleteAll:
ReplyDeleteThere is absolutely no reason to believe that a recall election is either legal or appropriate at this time. The Oyster did not become the Commissioner through election. The Spring Chicken's assumption that Commissioner is an elected position is just that: a fallacy, fired by typical democratic delusion. The Oyster rules by right, and I shall stand by my friend until it chooses to abdicate its position.
You want hat? We have hat! St. Louis Redbirds!
ReplyDeleteSome times Playt Front makes sense. Some times I don't want to be here any more. Wacko Birdo is crazy and even SCOUNDREL is too busy with Journalism these days. They forgot about us. I am scared.
ReplyDeleteRelax, guys. We just need to learn a new game. Agricola, or maybe Attika, anybody?
ReplyDelete