Monday, October 25, 2010

Some needed clarification

Dear Friends,

Our petition drive goes well. Although many of us have difficulty lifting pens, we have, through sacrifice and perseverance, signed our names to the document that, we hope, will prompt the voluntary recall of our do-nothing Commissioner.

But in opportunity, danger lurks. In these critical hours for our political process, it is vital that we keep our heads and resist the temptation to take shortcuts.

Over the past few days, I have heard many of you discussing impeachment as an option. I cannot caution you strongly enough: this is not a productive strategy. Because of the Oyster's negligence, we have no established court system, and no legislature. Impeachment is a kind of trial, and we have no judge to hear our charges. We have no legal authority to impeach the Oyster. The best that we can do is make our displeasure manifest, and, through the pressure of a legitimacy crisis, appeal to the better angels of the Oyster's nature to step, or roll, down.

I hold no elected office. Like you, I am but a concerned citizen of the Box. I can only use the tools of a concerned citizen; I cannot pretend to possess tools I do not have. We can circulate a petition; we cannot employ a judicial procedure that we have neither the apparatus nor the precedent for.

I urge you to keep the faith. We can effect the change we want to see, but we must remain steadfast, and we must remain civil.

With affection and resolve,
The Spring Chicken

33 comments:

  1. Fukk bully Moth beat me.

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  2. Impeach the Oyster now! Impeach the Oyster now!

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  3. Some times I think Flat Duck doesn't read the whole post.

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  4. six piece chicken dinnerOctober 25, 2010 at 12:33 PM

    Up yours stupid Chicken dont tell us what we can say and what we cant say that is CENSORSHIP

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  5. one of henry's many admirersOctober 25, 2010 at 12:35 PM

    maybe HENRY can be the impeachment judge. if there is power to be weilded then HENRY should weild it.

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  6. Henry stop it, you are not fooling anyone.

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  7. Extra!!! Extra!!! Big trade! Team Arcadia swaps the Flip-Flop and the Yellow Frog to the All-Star Team for Little Pink Star. Arcadia to sign Pontiki as free agent! How will this super team stack up to other super teams like the Sabermetric Super Team for instance? Also: Obie on life support! You read it all here first on the China Report!!!

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  8. Actually in my opinion Henry stood up to the Destroyer which is better than anybody else has done. Maybe we should start taking Henry seriously as a leader.

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  9. no fucking way.

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  10. Spring Chicken, you are being unrealistic. The Oyster doesn't even know that there's a petition drive happening. The Oyster isn't going to see a petition and step down, because the Oyster isn't even going to read your dumb petition. The Oyster is just going to get drunk at the Oyster Bar and complain about its marital problems to Wacko Birdo and ignore your petition.

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  11. Enemies of the OysterOctober 25, 2010 at 12:46 PM

    Psst! Oyster is arrogant and out of touch! Impeachemnet is the only selution!

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  12. i would like to thank team arcadia for giving me this opportunity. i am just here to help the ball club and take it one day at a time and good lord willing we will win

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  13. OYSTER is ea faggiot

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  14. All of this is highly unethical and personally offensive to me.

    Who are any of you to sit in judgment of the Oyster?

    Also, by what authority can Team Arcadia ship the Flip-Flop to the All-Star team? They cannot even be the All-Star team anymore. Now they are no longer all Stars. This is another abuse of power. You all should be ashamed of yourselves.

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  15. One way or another --

    OYSTER OUSTER!

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  16. the pontificating turtleOctober 25, 2010 at 1:06 PM

    sometimes there is a political movement for reform that gets out of hand. this happened in the france which was one of the socialist republics of the usser. back then the usser made a mistake and made gorba the chief. gorba the chief saw that the usser was old fashioned and decided to "open up" his glassnose which is another word for perestroika. gorba the chief opened up all the doors and windows in his glassnose which sounds strange until you realize that the usser was a communist society. glassnose let all of the crazy people out and they ended up standing on top of tanks in tianeman square and then the usser fell apart. the movement for reform got out of hand and they ended up having to remove the berlin wall which was a perfectly good wall. now there are german nazis running all over the france because the wall that used to keep them in is gone. germanie used to be divided into two germanies east germanie and west germanie and east germanie was the germanie to the east of west germanie. now there is only one germanie left. they lost an entire germanie and it was all because of gorba the chief and his glass nose.

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  17. I like that new Of Montreal song about the crazy girl. That is a good song.

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  18. Cold Woman I hope you know how much respect I have for you. I did not consult the commissioner on the trade because the commissioner is never around. I just made it. I was just trying to help my team win a Championship. I hope you understand,
    LOVE Shell Turtle.

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  19. they can be the some-star team.

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  20. @Shell Turtle: And what of the little Yellow Frog? Does it even know what happened? Is it mentally competent to stand a trade?

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  21. You know, it's funny to say, but the Pontificating Turtle has a point. Politicians are always raising expectations about stuff, and using crazy rhetoric about change and revolution, and then the moment people start doing something about it, they're all like "caution! caution!" Turns out all they meant by revolutionary change was a health care plan with an unfunded mandate. And they wonder why people get carried away.

    This would never fly in outer space. I voted for the Spring Chicken, but I gotta say: you sow the wind, you reap the whirlwind.

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  22. mastermind moth's ball and chainOctober 25, 2010 at 1:20 PM

    the space alien is so down-to-earth.

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  23. Cold Woman I sat down and talked to everybody about the trade. I am not 100% Certain that the Yellow Frog understood but All-Star team agreed to the deal and I think it is a good deal for everybody.
    SO MUCH LOVE shell turtle of Team Arcadia.
    p.s. don't hate me.

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  24. hey baby I am down to earth too

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  25. @space alien: But that is exactly what I am saying. It is too late to stop the wheels of impeachment from turning. That's what the people want: the Oyster gotta go and this is the way. If nobody will step up and be the judge I will be the judge. After all I am a SCARY BEAR.

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  26. I support the Oyster.

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  27. Extra!!! Extra!!! Breaking news -- Scarey Bear: a new political force, or just a blue pacifier with baby teethmarks on it? Read all about it in the CHINA REPORT!

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  28. stop hitting on my ball and chain, dickface.

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  29. peanut authorize trade.

    politic boring gane. if everybodyt want to playt politic, U not stop. bore meat, but not stop.

    BUT first, everybodyt here for playt real gane. acadiap just make best move for own team. if trade okayt with all-star team, okayt with meat. help build arcadiap into strongerp contenderp, maybeet. give alsope-ran team fresh competitorp, and yellow frog, who have big-gane experience. okayt maybeet not realize, but in big gane anywayt.

    trade go throup.

    SCOUNDREL

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  30. I will defer to SCOUNDREL for now.

    I only hope peanut will assist when the confused Yellow Frog *inevitably* does not know what team to play for.

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